Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
