drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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