guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
