just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
