i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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