I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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