You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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