Apparently you make a good broom.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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