So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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