So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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