I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You're like the curious george of whores
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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