I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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