every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Let's get the cat blown out
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
