Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
