Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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