My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
