am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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