i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
