can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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