I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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