I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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