Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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