I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize