did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Me too!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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