White coat. Heels.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
