Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
