If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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