She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
