All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
