you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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