i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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