never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
