I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
