I've blown a few things in my day
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
