WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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