Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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