I'm jealous of your bromance
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i drank out of a bidet.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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