i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
