We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
