apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
