I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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