It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
