If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
