i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
