your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
