Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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