considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
