Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
