He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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