And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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