WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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