Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
