we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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