True but thats because hes a fetus.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
