some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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