Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
