I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize