He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
