Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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