My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
