so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
