She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
