Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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