He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
