If i come over, it means nothing
i permit you to call me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
