I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
