shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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