carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
