He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
