doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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