I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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