So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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