im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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