im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
