my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
