A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
