Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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