Don't you send me to vm
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
