So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
