Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
