Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The air was thick with penises
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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