You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
