did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
