Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
