Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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