What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
