Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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