Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
