my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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